We Have A Date!!

I went to the doctor today for one of my biweekly apointments.  He's scheduling me for an induction for next Thursday March 19th.  So 8 more days after today!!  Now it's getting real!!!  We're ready to meet this little girl, hold her and see that she's all healthy.

As excited as I am to get off of bed rest and have her out and healthy and ready to be a family of four...I can't help but think of how things are about to change for the rest of our lives.  It's no longer going to just be us and our little buddy Ethan...all we've known for the past 3.5 years.  It's such an exciting time and Ethan seems very excited and ready to see Sadie, but the thought still lingers in the back of my mind wondering how things are really going to change.  God has blessed our family with so much and the thought of adding another child is overwhelming.  I can't help but think back to this insert that I read on a friend of mine's blog back when I first found out that I was pregnant.  It touched me then and I feel like it's my heart now as we approach these last days before Sadie's arrival.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 3-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," Knowing in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are setting into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the look between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply. I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.